Jamie Lynn Spears Never Had a Chance

Surely we are not surprised to hear the news that 16-year-old Zoey 101 star, sister of Britney, and daughter of parenting expert Lynne Spears is pregnant.  It’s not out of the ordinary for teenagers to become pregnant.  The shocking part may be that we know at all.  Why should any of us know that this young girl is 12 weeks pregnant?  Who would alert the press?

Hmmm… makes you wonder what kind of motives are at work in that family.  Maybe Lynne Spears will enlighten us in her new book on parenting.  I can’t wait to learn what advice she gives for becoming a fabulous mom.  Is it all about the press?  Remember when Britney was marketed as America’s last teenage virgin?  You can’t blame Lynne for wanting to forge her own identity.  I mean Jamie Lynn. 

Besides, the whole role model thing didn’t work out for Britney.  Maybe her sister just wants to get the scandal out of the way up front and then pull a transformation act, thank her Lord and Savior, and then cash in on the growing market for Christian Everything.

Based on her name alone, poor Jamie Lynn never had a chance.  And I don’t mean Spears.  Check out that first name.  Her parents – Jamie and Lynne – were either completely without imagination or just a wee bit self-absorbed.  Or maybe they just couldn’t be bothered with naming baby. 

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Paris Needs a Puppy Pal

Paris Hilton confided to Ellen Degeneres on her show that she wanted to have a baby.  Stop already!  Isn’t Britney warning enough?  Babies are cute, puppies are cuter.  Just get a dog and be done with it because that Baby Bjorn will not keep baby safe when you fall off the table you’re dancing on. 

And Lindsay Lohan?  You too!  Take a trip down to the ASPCA and then make sure your birth control is working. 

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Name Your Baby in Celebrity Style
The Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth
Am I Pregnant?  Early Signs of Pregnancy

Let Britney Adopt A Puppy

One of these women needs to raise children.  The other needs a puppy. 

Why are we so messed up?  Don’t you suppose it would be harder for Ellen Degeneres to adopt a child than for Britney Spears to get her hands on one?  The popped up princess is rumored to be in negotiations to adopt a six-year-old pair of Chinese twins.  Huh?  Didn’t China start cracking down on unfit mothers and such?  Maybe they’re just really mad because we exposed all those nasty toy ingredients and this is their revenge.  They’ll show us – just offload some more worthless girl children.

And then there’s Ellen.  After all that nonesense this summer with the dogs, I couldn’t help but wish she and her girlfriend Portia DeRossi would just go ahead and adopt some kids already.  I mean if you’re goign to cry all to pieces in front of total strangers, you’re practically a mother already.  But who knows – maybe they know better.  Could it be that if you’re really good with pets, you’re horrid to children?  And vice versa? 

If so, Britney ought to try the pet mommy role again.  But I suspect all she’s really after is something to cuddle.

What’s with this attitude that if you have enough money you can just write a check and dial up a kid?  It’s all a bit confusing to see celebrity adoption in the media portrayed as a quick and smooth solution for one party or the other.  Real life adoption is messy, hurtful, and often full of less than pure motives.  It’s not that we should expect more from our celebs.  The thing is, we ought to hold everyone to a higher standard.  I don’t know what the answer might be.  All I know is it looks more like family and less like buying babies. 

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Lynne Spears Gives Parenting Advice

Because….  ?

Us Magazine reports that Britney Spears’ mother Lynne is going to write a book on parenting.  Well yay!  Not only will the book have gems of parenting wisdom, but considering that Christian topics are hot in publishing today, the book will have “faith elements” according to a representative from publisher Thomas Nelson. 

The book is scheduled to hit shelves Mother’s Day 2008 with the title, Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.  Let’s just rip that apart shall we?  Mom?  Really?  I’m pretty sure that like Tom and Katie, Lynne aspires to be more friend than Mom.  And a real story?  Are we to beleive this woman will write the book herself?  Doubtful.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s got all the hallmarks of a best seller.  But I can’t imagine anyone taking this woman’s word on the care and feeding of young women.

Just remember to consider the source next time you read any parenting advice.

And where is my book deal?

Does Britney Really Need a Monitor to See Her Kids?

It hasn’t been so very long since Britney was a child herself.  (I’ll save my opinion on the parenting judgment that allowed photos like this for another day.)  Now she’s deemed such a danger to her own children that a court has ordered a monitor be present while her children spend time with her. 

Does this girl really need one more person watching her?  Are there not enough cameras trained on her and everyone she knows 24/7 to catch any possible bad behavior? 

And who is this supposed monitor anyway?  Judges in these cases are supposed to choose a nuetral person to monitor visitation and protect the child’s rights.  I can’t imagine who in the Spears-Federline camp is impartial.  For regular folk and impoverished trailer scrap, there are social workers who perform the service for a fee, but I’m betting Brit didn’t go through the normal channels.  Maybe she hired a new friend.  I mean assistant. 

But what if you’re not worth a huge pile of money?  Supervised visitation is often necessary in cases where one or both parents is an abuser.  Considering Spear’s erratic behavior lately, not to mention probable drug use, it’s no wonder that the court doesn’t think she’s able to care for her own kids.  Or maybe the judge fears the former Pop Tart Princess will try to flee the country with the kids.

Again, paparazzi?  It’s not like she can get away with anything.

I hope you’ll never have your visitation supervised, but if you’re curious check out these resources:

Supervised Visitation and Monitored Exchanges
Supervised Visitation Network
Supervised Visitation Directory

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